Why I am a Unitarian Universalist
By Melissa Hochschild
August 28, 2005
I grew up in suburban Western Pennsylvania. My friends and classmates were mainly local families; white, conservative, Presbyterians and Catholics. Grade school in the mid ‘60’s was all about conforming, and my family didn’t really fit in: my parents were from far away, they were intellectual and socially liberal. And they weren’t Christian. (So I assume: religious beliefs are private in my family.) At school, I heard the religious dictates from my classmates (“you’re going to go to Hell!”), listened to catechism and confirmation stories, and mouthed the Lord’s Prayer in unison every day after the Pledge of Allegiance, feeling different and alienated.
But I could at least say that I too went to church: my family attended The First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh. It was a “real” church: a massive old stone building with bell tower and stained glass, impressive pipe organ, high carved altar, dark hard wood pews, and formal services. Yet it felt alive with conversation, controversy, learning, debate, personal expression, laughter, and music. A place where differences were accepted and celebrated and no one told you you were going to hell.
What I remember from church, 40 years later:
The RE program: the excitement of learning about other cultures, other religions, our natural world and ourselves. We attended services at different churches in the neighborhood, discussed ethical values, debated world politics and theology, learned Unitarian history and principles, and even explored human sexuality, through a frank and ground-breaking UU curriculum for 7th and 8th graders that made the adults more than a little uncomfortable.
The older youth: They were really cool: members of the LRY, or Liberal Religious Youth. They were protesters, social activists, folk singers, and debaters who were not only tolerated, but supported by the congregation, both conservative and liberal.
The adults: They were always working for the church: they ran board meetings, sat on nominating committees, conducted pledge drives, taught youth and adult RE, gave sermons, performed music, organized community involvement projects and had endless potlucks and rummage sales.
Sunday mornings: We kids counted pennies for Unicef, participated in the youth services, ran around at coffee hour, sang in the choir, told secrets under the stairs, put on plays and read books in the library.
It was an active, encompassing, supportive community in which I felt completely at home. Growing up in a constricted, biased, small-minded suburb, the UU Fellowship was the community that taught me the meaning of justice, compassion and religious freedom.
I stopped going around high school, and never thought about attending for years. (In NYC and LA, it was not cool to go to church on Sunday morning.) When I moved to Bend, a colleague at work heard I was a Unitarian and invited me to join his family at a service, then at the Spiritual Awareness Community church on Sunday afternoons. I went a few times, but didn’t really feel a part of what was then a small insular group. But I kept going on and off, because it felt like a spiritual home, and I gradually made friends and connections. At some point I signed the book making me a member - it was very informal at that point. When I adopted Henry, it became more important to me to commit to the fellowship. The Howard/Barbers decided to “adopt” Henry and me as part of their family, and I started to get more involved in church activities and recognized as a member of the fellowship. And I even started to pledge annually, something that I had always thought only people like my parents did.
Along the way I became involved in Buddhist thought and practices, which fit right in with my Unitarian principles and beliefs. I became a UU proselytizer, telling other friends about the denomination and inviting them to a service. I took on the newsletter and edited it for over 5 years (a great way to know all that’s going on in the fellowship, by the way). Then Christine Boyer took me to lunch and challenged me to apply my professional skills as a marketer to the many needs of the fellowship. Things took off for me from there, developing the logo, an outreach plan, etc. Currently the demands of single motherhood and being self-employed keep me from attending regularly, but this is our home and we will always be back.
Today, we’re an active, growing, energized UU fellowship, embodying the principles and community I remember from my childhood. I’m very proud to be a member and to raise my son as a Unitarian in the fellowship. I want Henry to grow up with what I had, and more: celebrating religious and cultural differences, participating in a supportive multi-generational community, asking questions and exploring spiritual beliefs, and acting for social justice. And when his friends talk about what they do at church, I want him to be able to share what it means to be a Unitarian and what we as Unitarians believe.